40+

Today is Mother's Day and once again I'd forgotten about it until my daughters ran into the bedroom excited to show me their gifts.

They both read out their mother's day love poems and handed me a pendant, some beautiful drawings and two candle holders.

Today I was also supposed to attend the second edition of the Ladies' Breakfast I'd been invited to a few months back.

I'd accepted, equally forgetting that it was going to clash with the dance show of my girls. 

The first edition was very appropriately called "Breakfast with Benefits" and it was held in Mechelen at "insert name here" (I forgot the name of the restaurant) and was organised by two, talented, beautiful ex-colleagues of mine from one of my many Belgian pasts. They had managed to gather ladies from across the motherhood and professional spectrum. Many of us didn't know each other before that morning, but all of us had one thing in common: Motherhood!

I wish I could remember the exact theme for today's breakfast event...I wish I could have attended. Story of a busy mom!

I think it had something to do with health?

Ladies! This is my contribution to your event, derived from partial memory loss, fatigue, pride and excitement, All-in-One.

So let's start with the basics: I'm 41...Let's just say 40+ !!!

I'm 1.57m and somewhere around 52Kg. I've never varied much on either of those numbers pre or post-pregnancies. I work full time. Oh yes! And I have two kids and their existence has cost me a few organs. I believe I do qualify as having gone through hell and come out the other side pretty tainted. I just didn't give up regaining my control over my femininity. 

I've been angry many times at the unfair advantage that men (fathers) have over us women (mothers). Somehow it's less of a burden to them. They don't really have to choose between their work, hobbies, free time and fatherhood. We do! All the time!

Oh yes! Did I mention that I'm actually married? Quite recently actually...second time lucky. I preferred to do this round of love affair the other way around. Or rather let's just say: "It just happened!". 

Sexuality first, then the love, then the kids...then ultimately a deeper commitment (marriage, house mortgage etc.).

I'd say perhaps it wasn't the other way around at all, but rather the way I've played it . Always. 100% Organic! Lol!

I probably should say that at 40+ I'm starting to care less about what other people or society thinks?

Well, to tell you the truth I've never really cared that much to begin with, and perhaps that's what's kept me young.

In thinking about it, the theme of this morning's ladies' breakfast is meant to be BEAUTY! 

Hmm...let me gather my fragmented thoughts after a very late night going to bed...and two tequila beers...

But you're not supposed to drink right? Or go out! Or have fun! Or...anything really...

Once you enter the domain of motherhood, you can never go back to being wild, carefree and young. YES, that's true, to a certain extent! You can't be that young again...not physically, mentally or spiritually. Adulthood and parenting erases all traces of a carefree future.

Nevertheless, here's my personal recipe to both inner and outer beauty: 

Outer:

• I clean and moisturise my skin (mostly Neutrogena stuff).
• I don't dye my hair (until it turns grey and I won't like it, I don't touch it with chemicals - been there burnt that!).
• I cook 90% of the time.
• I work out (15 minutes every evening, in my own living room - core strength/flexibility and muscle strength).
• I walk, run, swim or ride a bicycle at random times, relaxed style,  to add some cardio to my life.
• I party (when the occasion arises).
• I wear mostly only lipstick (too sensitive skin for many brands of make-up).
• I don't smoke (haven't for decades) and only social-level drinking what I like.
• I like and experiment with fashion and what I believe enhances my femininity.
• I don't stifle my libido with treatments, suppression or angst.

Inner:

• I read, meditate, write, and squeeze every moment I can to exercise my passions alongside my day job.
• I owe nothing to anyone and nobody owes me anything. 
• I give time to listen and to talk to my kids and partner...also to my  closest friends no matter where they are in the world.
• I make plans, have ambition and fight rather than run away.
• I allow my fantasies and imagination to exist and sometimes to materialize. 
• I don't have social guilt. 
• I make mistakes and admit to them.
• I'm loyal to my ideology.
• I adapt.

Remember ladies (no matter your age, status, or whether you have kids or not), there's no one Golden Recipe for success in health or beauty. We're all different. 

I always joke to my man: "Baby! The only rule is...that there's NO RULE!"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY  !